Today, April 30th 2016, is my 53rd birthday, but it's not a day of celebration for me. I love and thank all my friends for their birthday wishes, but with every one I see, I am quickly reminded that my sister will never celebrate another one. She passed away from cancer on March 10, 2016, the day after her 51st birthday. I realize that she is no longer suffering and is reunited with Mom and Dad, but I still can't find reason to celebrate my birthday. It seems so unfair for me to celebrate, when she's not here. I know I should be thankful that she is no longer in pain, and I am, but I can't reconcile what I know in my head with what I am feeling in my heart and body.
Since her diagnosis on August 17, 2015, I have not felt right in my body. I attribute it to stress and uncertainty about the future. Nothing makes you question your own mortality as the sudden illness and death of someone younger than you; especially if it is your sibling.
I now question whether or not I am suffering from depression. I will be seeking professional help to assist me in determining what is going on, and how best to help me get better.
I am thankful everyday for my family and friends who constantly stand by me and give the love and support on a daily basis.
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